How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
