she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
