Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
