No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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