please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want her autograph on my taint
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
