So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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