so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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