"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
A bitchslap is in order.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
