k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
