Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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