Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
