WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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