I'm drive I can fine osifer
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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