He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
