haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
