Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize