Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
