your thong is hanging out like whoa
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
