just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
