well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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