Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
