I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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