my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
