so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
