I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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