Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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