if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
