I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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