NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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