hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
