Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its about making memories worth repressing
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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