You're my little dorito
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
