hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
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I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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