Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
