Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
