That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize