did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
