they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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