He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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