Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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