hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
