I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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