ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
