Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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