went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
