I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
