just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
