carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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