Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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