apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize