I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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