I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
