I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
