you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
