What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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