i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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