So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
