He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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