i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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