I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
the liver wants what the liver wants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
