Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
