xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
