They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
